What is “Truth”?

Not having a job fills my allotted time for the day with less than I’d like. At school I was busy, and at the moment, days are sliding right off the calendar without effort. My “yesterdays” are too close because time looks compressed with nothing to do. Netflix is great and all, but the service isn’t going to get me somewhere in life. I’m not going to pay for it, because there are still many less costly alternatives.

The act of spending money means more to us than the products purchased. That tells you something about our society, doesn’t it? Our monetary system is kinda screwy, and there are more companies out there making a profit off our instincts. I have an innate drive to sacrifice, but spending money provides an easy way out. I can see how some never learn the value of actual sacrifice, because there are messages constantly pelted at us from all sides. “Buy shit, and let us carry the burden of your dollar.” Ads on the radio, full-page displays in print media, proprietors soliciting at your front door, busses plastered with propaganda and I’m getting sick of it all.

The one thing that upsets me the most, is that pharmaceutical companies are allowed to advertise in our country. Tell people what your pill fixes, and tell them to ask a doctor about it. You know someone’s going to nag so much, that the doctor prescribes medication that isn’t really needed. Does this tactic bring in more revenue than goes out on the ads? Does telling people to “ask their doctor about… YOUR PILL HERE” really make us better off?

I don’t have a source for this, but I’ve been taught that getting a drug approved by the FDA is the most costly process out of any other country. I’m to assume that this advertising then creates unnecessary demand for a drug that’s probably overpriced. The majority of this price is passed on to the insurance companies, which are “evil” in our minds. In theory they’d be helpful if there wasn’t the profit motive, but they kinda help… a litte. This process is overly complicated and I’m still left scratching my head as to the net effect of all this on our society.

Business school seems to be all about making money. From the courses I’ve taken so far, the goal is to attain some dollars for yourself or the company that you will work for. What a horribly empty notion. You can go work for a dollar, but I want to work for the challenge and sacrifice. I want to spend hours working on something and then do it mostly for whomever has the problem. That’s what I want to put my skills towards, not management or sales. I don’t really know what I will do with a minor in business administration, but it fills out my schedule so that I have to take a ful four years of college. If I hadn’t wrapped myself up in this nonsense, I could have graduated in three and a half years.. three if I had really pushed myself and known how college actually works.

but does anyone?

Here I am, writing out my thoughts because I have no other outlet on which to impart my ideas. Here you go internet, my gift to you. I hope someone out there enjoys these things I write.



Television has gotten so bad that I can’t watch (very much of) it anymore. I recently stopped watching Castle, because the plot falls together too nicely. Perhaps I’m expecting the show to feel more “real” than a fairytale where the killer is always put in a detention facility.

I can’t take the polished glean and stainless-steel shine of these fast-paced, modern dramas. Nathan Fillion is a fantastic actor, trapped on a kiddy coaster, lacking thrill. Information is found too easily electronically, witnesses are found without a hitch, and evidence always leads to the catharsis we’re supposed to feel when the case is solved.

Pandering to the lowest common denominator is what drags me down, it’s what keeps me from attaining my full potential.. that and not being born into a rich family. I’m more than the average amount of intelligence, wit and curiosity, so I’m not surprised a puree of bland entertainment fails to keep me interested.

The number of shows I’m interested in is waning, which may be a sign that I’m growing up? Or that I’m starting to feel inaction in the face of all this unrest and injustice is appalling.

Separation of church and state really needs to be straightened out in the south.

Corporations are not people, and deserve none of our non-rights.

The government should not be bought out by those willing to pay. Candidates should be elected because of a vote, and do what they believe to be morally right. Few are interested in the political process at my age, because to them the world is all parties, passive entertainment and sleeping. I may be wrong in this stement, but I have yet to be convinced otherwise.

No one in politics should be “against the other side” but instead “for the right reasons”. Being against someone is the reactive mentality to which simpletons and blithering idiots subscribe.

Don’t prevent the war, have someone else fight it.

Don’t help the planet sustain us, rape and pillage until we have more money.

The oil won’t last forever.. and plastic doesn’t actually help anything.

A train passes by on tracks already lain
burning up precious resources
ultimately ending up where the tracks run out
along the way stopping for no one
a horn wails, get out of my way
because this train is “going somewhere”
don’t watch the scenery
it’ll only slow you down
don’t stop and simply look around
beauty only lies in achievement
the track is sliding past
time churns onward
I want the train to stop and let me off
here looks like as a good a place as any
the air is breathable, but for how long?
this water here is drinkable, but for how long?
you may want to be someone
some day
but I’m someone now
fuck yeah.

There’s a Kitty To Watch

As I’m writing this, I’m not at school, nor am I home. I’m actually in Elgin, watching my Great Aunt’s kitty. She looks something like this =(O_O)= most of the time.

I call it the “Hey, who are you? You’re not the human who normally lives here, and feeds me.”

If the weather is nice enough, I’ll cut the grass in the morning.

Weekly Sunday Update?

Thinking about trying to do a weekly post every Sunday as a reflection of the week and expectations of the upcoming one.

Looking back:

This week marked the last one before final exams. Instructors cement, in my mind, the opinion I’ll carry with me as final examinations approach. I shall walk through my classes and my thoughts about them in the order I attend.

Fist up is computer science 463 at 10am every M,W, F, which should really be called “Stuff you’ll never use and that which other instructors insist is not much to worry about”. Instead of giving C.S. majors a practical look at hardware and the processes on which a PC relies, I’m forced to learn about everything an operating system does automatically.  Explain to me why I need to know how something works, that is done invisibly and automatically by something that already exists?  The course is based on out-dated information and a professor rooted in the past. CS 463 could do with a fresh face, and someone more qualified than the department’s IT support individual. The final exam for this class is the one thing I’m most worried about between me and my grades.

Second is a completely different course rooted in actually coding. This is the one course which kept me comletely interested at 11am every M,W,F. I’m not a fan of how little useful information is online about COBOL or Assembler, but the course went alright. If basic syntax and logic blocks were better covered, I would feel extremely more confident in my ability to finish the assignments. The instructor here deserves a large amount of recognition as the most up-beat and interesting person to teach a language in the CS department.

Finishing off my Monday and Wednesday is MGMT 217, out at the Barsema lecture hall. My professor for this class is well articulated and interesting. He definitely knows how to express himself in front of all those people, but I still hate 200-level classes. Into to business law is required for my minor, and if the subject material were anything more than an overview, I’d take it more seriously.

Tuesday brings with it another business course, MKTG 310, marketing principles. This one is also required for my minor, and like the other business course, also just a lot of information. The info is dry, I can’t see where it’ll be useful and the professor repeats himself more often than a pop radio station, and I completely hated his take-home tests.. but I can probably pull off a B.

Last class, once a week on Tuesday I signed up to be in the university band, which is a wind ensemble for anyone and everyone who wants to play wind / percussion for fun. It’s only one credit hour and is the one class I continue to take because I really still like playing my saxophone.

Looking Forward:

Finals to take, residents to move-out, last few days of being on duty and a summer without internship.
I’m going to need goals and structure to make this summer worthwhile, otherwise it’ll be a depressing multi-month time sink.

Reasons I’d Rather Live Somewhere Else

The US has an aging internet infrastructure which needs to be upgraded, but ISP’s instead implement usage caps. AT&T has, just today, started limiting how much you’re allowed to use the internet. The company is only going to set that ceiling lower and lower. It’s the same as limiting our rights and freedoms in a more general sense. Warrantless wiretaps, TSA body scanners, limited spending on education… all the more reason to leave this country. We say it’s okay to give a litte, or pay a little more while company’s costs fall lower and lower.

Our government is THE most in debt country, in the world (to external sources). This worries me and there’s little I can do about it. I vote in a free market with my money, so I’m going to vote for a country by my decision to live there.

I’m also not a fan of our education, healthcare or prison systems. The first two are wasteful in the wrong areas, and the third is also largely ineffective, in addition to wasteful. Revolving door policies never helped anyone. Can we care about the people in this country? I read a statistic somewhere, or heard it on NPR, that a majority of inmates are there due to drug related charges. Would alleviate two problems if some drugs were perhaps, legalized?

I wish marijuana were legalized and taxed. It would mean so much more income for our country, not to mention how much could be saved on NOT fighting the battle against those drug distributors. The market should be regulated and taxed, but I doubt it will happen soon. I’m not interested in using the substance, as it’s effects are somewhat damaging, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t allow others to use it as we do alcohol. I’m not completely against legalizing other drugs either, but we have to start somewhere.

I’ve resigned myself to accept the fact that I will not be receiving an offer for a programming or software development internship this summer. No matter that I’m skilled, enthusiastic, responsible, hold a cumulative GPA of 3.64 in an extremely intense major, also have most of a minor finished, a good person and willing to work… there must be really skilled people out there if I can’t get any offers. Someone should show me the competition, because not many people at NIU can compare.

I’ve been told on numerous occasions that I’m very good at writing, I did think about doing something with writing as a carer, but I’m fine where I am right now. Some people don’t like their majors, but I do. I couldn’t imagine studying anything else, unless I never find a job in this field.

I guess that’s all for now.